Monday, April 10, 2017

Real Heroes!

Hey Guys!

Between the donations and payment that Amy's Dad made recently, we raised a total of $59,280L!  That's enough to help me keep Alouette open in world for another 4 months!  I'm  always so astounded by the generosity of the SL community.  Several of you made remarkable donations which was truly selfless.  I don't want to put anyone on the spot, but you know who you are <3  In all reality though, I'm so very grateful for every single donation - big or small.

So you have a screenshot the exact remaining days left is:

(Sorry I hid the Parcel ID - I don't understand how all that stuff works and am always cautious about potential hacks and stuff!)

I know I had mentioned on plurk, I struggled with sharing what was going on "behind the scenes" because I don't want any of you to feel that it's your responsibility or obligation to help me with paying for my sim that Amy's store is on.  I feel it's appropriate for me to share some raw honesty though, so here it is:

If you would have asked me 2 or even 3 years ago if I ever thought there would be a point in time that I would "leave" SL - I would have flat out said NO!  At that time, I couldn't imagine my life without SL being a part of it in some way or another.  Even as I've built my RL career, gotten married and am helping raise my 3 step-children, I've understandably not had as much time for SL.  But I always came back. Not because of my SL business or my sim, but because of the close relationships I've built there.  It was the people I logged into SL for.  One of those people for me was Amy.  I've said it over and over, Amy wasn't just a friend - we might not have shared the same blood, but she was my sister.

When Amy left us, and when others that I was close to moved on in their real lives (which is totally OK!), SL isn't the same for me anymore.  I lost my drive and desire to log in.  It's not that I can't build new friendships and relationships, but there's an emptiness.  With the fact that I've grown away from SL, it's also understandable that my SL income isn't as much as it used to be.  So when the donation money started to run out, I knew I'd have to reach out to Amy's Dad for us to make a decision on what our next move would be.  Both of us came to the conclusion that we still feel that people want to keep Alouette in world - and selfishly I'm not ready to let it go.  (Even if it meant I'd have to use RL funds in an already tight RL budget).

When I do log into SL and walk around Alouette, it's like time is frozen and Amy's just "logged off" for the night.  It's almost as if Amy could log on at any moment and IM me with some sassy comment.  I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense to anyone.  I just know in my heart I'm not ready - and I think I've seen from the outpouring of support recently you guys aren't ready either.

If it weren't for Amy and Alouette, I would let it all go and walk away.  I don't care about my business that I worked to build for over 6 years.  I don't care about the sim.  All I care about is Amy and her legacy.  I will do my best to honor her memory and keep doing whatever I can to keep it going.  But I can't take the credit for it, you guys are the real heroes.  You've helped me these past couple years by lending an ear, listening to me whine, tolerating all of my "I miss Amy" posts or sending a couple $L my way... 

Another thing I repeat often, I wish you could see into my heart to know how much its bursting full of gratitude.  I will never, ever, ever, ever be able to express it adequately.  And I know that Amy's family are just as surprised and forever grateful for your generosity as well.  Thank you for helping us keep her close. <3

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